If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
