"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
