Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
