i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
