I just saw a hot homeless man
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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