hotel room ftw
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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