hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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