If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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