u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
