He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
