Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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