The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Never joke about your clitoris.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
