Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
