Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
