She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
