stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize