We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize