Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
