I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
