you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
