I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wish there were birth control emojis
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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