I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
