What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
