Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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