I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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