I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize