Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
