My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize