The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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