Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
