the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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