This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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