He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he fucked my hip out of place.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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