How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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