R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
