is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
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When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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