No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
