my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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