All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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