just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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