How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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