i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
