My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
