I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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