he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my being single is dangerous.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
