Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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