Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
