that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
