Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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