I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
