It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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