I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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