They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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