What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
