We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
