Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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