just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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