why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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